"In that time I have been in many competitions, tried
just about every steroid that is and was available, all in perfect safety I
might add. I always thought that my sense of safety would always pull me
through; it had gotten me through all the years so far. Because I advise so
much on the subject, and have written two best sellers on steroids, I always
felt that I had a good sense of what can happen - how wrong can someone
be."
"Who would have thought it eh? A product that came onto
the bodybuilding world with it's wondrous muscle building, fat burning
properties, increased natural growth hormone release - wow, it could change
the way a man could look AND feel - and that is an understatement to say the
very least."
"I suppose that every addict of whatever sort of drug
will eventually stoop to the lows that lies can bring. They have to, there be
no choice. I knew that if I could keep it hidden and take it in secret, no one
would know. Of course they did and I suppose I knew it anyway. Once the Drug
Devil took over, there was absolutely nothing that one could do but listen to
his wants and needs. You will do anything to feed the need."
"At this point I was walking that thin line that many
must have done before they killed themselves. A tightrope walk so thin, that
to slip off would have been so easy. I put the phone down and pulled out some
electric cable wire that I used for extensions in my home. I tied one end of
the cable to the stairs banister and on the other end the customary knot or as
best I could manage due to the fact that I was shaking! I had to sit down for
a second, don't really know why, maybe the fact that I was scared, but most of
all, alone. It really would not matter in a while, but nevertheless I was
still lonely."
"My face hit the floor with so much force it woke me up
for an instant, only to see and feel my front four main teeth flying across
the kitchen floor. I didn't care, it didn't hurt, I was OK though as I thought
was only dreaming."
"I looked into the mirror and did not see me. What I did
see was a bloody mush of bruises and blood. My face was gone. Teeth were
hanging out and what was left, I pulled out with my fingers and an old pair of
pliers with insulating tape wrapped around the ends - I screamed in pain, but
I suppose that was my conscience telling me you deserved it - you bastard! I
pulled out a further three teeth. I cried, I screamed, but the reality was
coming back and I knew then what I had done."
